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How would you feel if your partner subscribed to OnlyFans? The site asks users to pay a fee to subscribe to exclusive content, and is being hailed as the latest ethical porn option, with creators posting their own sexually explicit material.
But the personalisation of the site has made some couples uncomfortable, as clinical sexologist Naomi Hutchings explains. I think that buying nudes is the same as just getting nudes off [another woman]. While the subscription-based site allows users to any kind of exclusive content, it's become a popular space for Instagram influencers, sex workers and other users to post sexually explicit content.
The site claims it grants subscribers "exclusive access to private content", which ranges from cooking tutorials to foot pics. It also allows you to communicate directly with creators and request custom content, which is where the cheating concerns come in. It feels more like social media than a porn site, featuring a newsfeed, 'like' buttons and subscriber counts.
Dr Emily van der Nagel, a lecturer in social media at Monash University and the author of Sex and Social Media, says the nature of OnlyFans lends itself to a "social media mindset" because of the way it "asks you to express an ongoing interest in a particular content creator". Unlike other porn sites, "the dynamic is not that you would look for one particular video … it's much more geared to the ongoing following or the subscribing to one particular content creator [rather than] dipping in and out of videos".
She says while it was time consuming, using the site was generally a fun experience, as she enjoyed having "actual conversations with people while nude teen girlfriends providing content". I never showed my actual vagina, I never showed in between my legs. It was just full-body nudes, strip teases and stuff like that. She left the site after she landed a full-time job and struggled to balance the two, but still made "a fair few grand" in the five months she had an.
Brianna was in a relationship for part of the time she was a creator, and says her boyfriend was supportive on the condition her subscribers weren't people they knew. She says the majority of her fans also had partners, with some nude teen girlfriends their a secret from their ificant other. There's limited data on the site's gender ratio, but Brianna says she also had female subscribers, and there are male creators on the site to. But nine times out of 10 it's just as simple as [saying] bugger off and blocking them. Brianna puts the appeal of OnlyFans down to the idea of creators having an everyday, "girl next door" vibe.
But she also notes that there's "a certain group of people who typically subscribe to this sort of stuff. And they're usually people who have watched every porn video, they're so used to the average porn content. I think it's a huge ego stroke at the end of the day. Dr van der Nagel says one of the reasons OnlyFans exploded in popularity last year was due to pandemic-fuelled social isolation.
Unlike porn, the connection felt with a performer on OnlyFans "taps in to the kind of intimacy that we are really missing, that comes from knowing somebody and being known by that person". If you are uncomfortable with your partner using OnlyFans or consuming regular porn, Ms Hutchings says it's important to discuss it. For some people they go 'Yeah, we're monogamous', but then one person thinks it's OK to use OnlyFans and another one would say that it's cheating. Ella and her partner had discussed her issue with the site early on, which was part of why she was so hurt when she found out he was a regular user.
And he said that he would've been upset. If you're worried your partner might be using the site, Ms Hutchings says you could approach the topic by asking something open-ended, like "What do you think about people who use OnlyFans? We all have boundaries. You might say 'I'd like it if you didn't watch porn', but they absolutely have a right to also say no [to that request]. Get our newsletter for the best of ABC Everyday each week. ABC Everyday helps you navigate life's challenges and choices so you can stay on top of the things that matter to you.
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