Added: Roshanda Tilghman - Date: 10.02.2022 12:34 - Views: 49994 - Clicks: 7001
I happen to be married to a really perverted guy. When he and I met, he let me explore the limits of my libido for the first time so far, no known limits; expanding along with the universeand showed me how to let myself be a really, really perverted gal. I was new to kink, and his kink informed my own in a very formative way. So as a result, I like to play with other really, really perverted guys and gals. Under that umbrella are humiliationshameembarrassmentdegradationand objectification.
I may have left some out. Let me know if I have. So this is really a personal exercise for me to define what I think each of the following terms means, whether I want it, and under what circumstances. I love everything about this definition. To use this term in a discussion with a play partner is an invitation to get to know each other better.
Find out what makes the other person tick. What do you fear? What do you crave? What are your neuroses? What do you want, need, despise? What do you spend lots of time thinking about? Find out what they are. Then find out what is the healthiest way to take it away from them. Shame : The painful feeling arising from the consciousness of something dishonorable, improper, etc, done by oneself.
This, for me, is the most explosive, potentially hot, and also potentially toxic one. I love to feel ashamed in a scene. It makes me really, really hot. This bothered me for a long time. There I was, an intelligent, educated, modern woman and feminist, with plenty of shame issues to overcome in her day-to-day life as every woman doesand feeling ashamed in a scene made my pussy dripping wet. This in and of itself, I thought, was shameful. A viciously hot cycle for anyone who could figure it out.
I took lots embarrassment kink time to think about this. It was a process. There is a big But here for me. I only consent to this kind of play with people I trust, because sometimes I carry the shame with me beyond the scene. This is something I do not want. I know there are people who like to hold on to the shameful feeling they get in a humiliation scene; they want to enjoy it, feel it linger, embarrassment kink it. More power to them.
I have no interest in emotional masochism outside of play. I view shame as a very personal thing. It is related to our own self-images, our self-esteem, how valuable we view ourselves as people. One feels ashamed of oneself. We are each our own harshest critic. We internalize it. It can warp us. There are lots of ways to prevent this from happening. Embarrassment kink need evidence that you care about me despite my exposed flaw.
Let me touch it. Fuck me. Have an orgasm brought on by my humiliation. It proves to me that you are just as fucked up as I am, in your own perverted way. Then, check in with regularity in the days after. To embarrass : To cause to feel confusion or self-consciousness; to disconcert; to fluster. Embarrassment usually refers to a feeling less painful than that of shame, one associated with less serious situations, often of a social nature.
One cannot be embarrassed without an audience. I will threaten to kick you in the nuts. I will call you a fucking asshole. I might step on your toe with my stiletto, or do something to fuck embarrassment kink your perfect rigging. I will provoke you. I know full well what the consequences are. I will do one of two things: shut down quietly, or break down explosively.
I want to push past it. I need a reward for my efforts. Let me have some success after my total failure. See above re: swollen genitals and orgasms. Or less ideally but still good give me a task you know I can complete, and let me complete it. Let me please you. This, to me, is the essence of Power Exchange. I find it difficult to be satisfied in play without some kind of degradation involved. WHAT is reduced by kind of play, and play partner. In a simple embarrassment kink scene, it may be agency. In a pain scene, it might be strength or endurance. But in any case, the thing the sub agrees to give up is transferred actively to the top in the form of power and control.
The sub is degraded in direct proportion to the empowerment of the top. When I sub, I want to feel like you are worth more than I am. I want to feel lesser than you. I want you to feel like More than me. I will do what I can to allow you to feel that way. I want to feel more powerful. I want my status to be elevated.
This is the essence of degradation for me, and it plays an important part in my overall concept of kink. While Degradation implies a lowering or reduction of these things rank, status, worth, strength, etc embarrassment kink, Objectification implies an elimination of these qualities. I have learned that in order to be fulfilled in my kink, I need to feel like an active participant in it.
The one kind of objectification I nearly always like is sexual objectification — I love to be reduced to a body or even a body part for use. So, patient readers, there you have it. My own personal breakdown of the age-old Humiliation vs. Shame vs. Embarrassment vs. Degradation vs. Objectification question. More of her writings can be found on her blog: Marginalia. You are commenting using your WordPress. You are commenting using your Google. You are commenting using your Twitter. You are commenting using your Facebook.
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